


Should Be Loved

by terminallyCosplay



Series: October Verse [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: College AU, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, Octoberverse, Pure Honey Bun John Laurens, Roommates, These boys are complicated, i swear to god I'm not this mean to lafayette, jerkules, there will be plenty of cuddles, young scrappy and hungry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-27 23:37:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8422084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terminallyCosplay/pseuds/terminallyCosplay
Summary: Lafayette can't help but bend to every one of John Lauren's whims. All of them. So, when he thinks that John found a puppy, his immediate response was yes, despite Hercules' misgivings.Problem is, it wasn't a puppy, it was a 19 year old law student. Can Lafayette make enough room in his heart to share Laurens with anyone?





	1. The Phone Call

_ ♫ _ _ Should be loved by you this I know is true I can’t breathe when you’re around- _ _ ♫ _

Lafayette glanced down at his pants pocket, listening to it ringing. His hands were inside of Hercules Mulligan’s, and he just looked up at him, helpless. 

“You don’t have to answer it,” Herc told him. 

“Ah, but I do. You know you can’t ignore him either.” 

“You can, tonight, please, we can both ignore him.” 

“He’s texted five times, called twice, please, please…” Lafayette fell into gentler begging. 

He looked up at Hercules and he could see the defeat in his eyes. He rolled them to maintain some of his dignity, shrugged, then waved his hand.

“Okay, but  _ only _ because it seems like an emergency this time.” 

“Thank you mon ami, mon cher, mon-”

“Answer the damn phone so we can go back to date night.”

“So this is a date then?” Lafayette shot back, eyebrows arching. 

“Answer it already,  _ Gilbert. _ ” 

Lafayette scrambled to get his phone out, hoping to not actually miss it. He knew that one day- probably later, Hercules driving him back to the apartment, he’d eventually have to have a talk about how much he couldn’t stand being apart from John Laurens. 

_ ♫Should be held at night this I know is right♫ _

“Mon Petit,  S'il vous plaît, what has you all wound up?” he asked. 

“Look I know our place isn’t that big, but it’s cold out, and he was cold and hungry, and can I just bring him home?” 

“What? I- you know we’re not allowed-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but it’s just a couple nights, okay?” John said, his voice pleading him, and it hit that note which tore into Lafayette’s heart and shit, he was done. He was beyond done in and he was helpless again. 

“Okay, okay, just a couple days, okay? We can talk later, you can bring him home.” he said, reassuring him. “I’ll be back later, no need to fuss so, Mon Petit.”

  
“Thank you,” he said. 

He was so relieved, so full of it, that Lafayette felt his own tension ease out of him, his hands and body relaxed. 

“Goodnight, Mon petit.” Lafayette said and hung up. 

“What had him so worked up?” Hercules asked. As much as he hated letting John Laurens into nights which were strictly theirs, he never held it against him for long. 

“He found a dog.” 

 

John Laurens had not found a dog. 

 

Lafayette blinked at the other man, younger than him, and stared at John Laurens. The stranger was asleep on their couch, and John Laurens was like an avenging angel next to him, ready for another fight. Lafayette said nothing, merely went into the kitchen. He poured himself a rather generous helping of wine, and then he made John a coffee. He pointed to his own bedroom, signifying that this was his word that was law, and that John had a lot of explaining to do. Luckily, he was pretty glad that Hercules was not with him still and had gone home quietly for once. He started walking, staying quiet. Once they were both in the room, he sank defeated onto the bed. 

“That is not a dog,” Lafayette said.

“I never said it was, you just said I can take him home. You made me promise not to bring anyone over unless I asked first, and they said it was in the fifties last night.” 

He pouts, and Lafayette knows he’s losing ground. In his own house, he was losing ground fast because shit, who could say no to those freckles? Even worse than the freckles, those eyes, big and helpless and full of promise and fire. 

“What’s his name?” 

“Alexander Hamilton.”

“Why did you have to bring him home?” he asked. 

“Something about his financial aid fell through, he lost the apartment he was staying in- its just for a few days, until he can think of something, and I know he will, he’s brilliant. You’re brilliant. With your help, maybe-”

Lafayette puts up a hand and takes a drink. John stutters to a silence, and Lafayette notices darkly about how Laurens has forgotten to list himself. John, charismatic, soft spoken when needed and brash when needed. He sighed. 

“Okay, but if anything goes missing I will notice, and he will be out of here.” 

Laurens hugs him, and Lafayette’s engulfed. He can smell his shampoo, and he feels so right there, that he just pulls him onto the bed, murmurs about cuddles and pets Laurens’ curls until the coffee and wine are gone, until John is asleep next to him and Lafayette can feel an ache in his chest. 

 

**Herc:**

**So what’s the dogs name? Are you keeping him?**

**Lafayette:**

**No, we’re not. The dog’s name is Alexander Hamilton.**

 

**HerculesMULLIGAN:**

**Weird name for a dog even for Laurens**

 

**Lafayette:**

**Apparently John’s new puppy is John’s new human.**

 

**HerculesMULLIGAN:**

**Oh.**

 

The next morning Lafayette wakes up, bed empty. He sighs. Maybe he should’ve just stayed out with Hercules. The night before, they had not discussed Lafayette’s attachment. They had not discussed the growing problems of Lafayette loving Laurens and dating Hercules. He had felt it in the air, between them. Dinner had been more subdued, the walk had been more subdued. The two of them together had been subdued again. He had apologized when he had gotten out of the car, he was still apologizing to no one as he climbed the stairs to his place. He wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for or if he would ever run out of things he needed to apologize for.

 

He sighed and got out of bed, head fuzzy and aching from a little too much drinking last night. He set about to his normal ritual of cleaning, surprised that John had done it all. Laurens had even taken their glasses, and Lafayette could smell the bacon in the kitchen. He felt confused- John hardly ever cooks. The smell of burning had him leap out of bed as he goes into the kitchen quickly, John sheepishly trying to save the bacon, save anything. Lafayette bumps him out of the way for damage control, glad a fire hadn’t started. 

“You. Toast. Coffee. You are not allowed to touch the stove anymore,” Lafayette said darkly. “I will not have you burning down the curtains _again_."

Laurens stood there like a chastised child, and for a moment, Lafayette almost relented, almost succumbed, but managed to hold out from those eyes. 

“Why were you cooking? You don’t cook.”

“We don’t have anything premade, and he was hungry, and you know I don’t eat that stuff, and he doesn’t eat my stuff.” 

“Just...go make coffee for us, and I’ll make eggs and pancakes, and I’ll make you your veggie omelette, okay?” Lafayette said softly. 

Laurens nodded and the two of them looked up as Alexander Hamilton walked into the kitchen. Lauren’s clothes looked strange on him, and Lafayette realized that it was because they actually fit on him. The sleeping figure was taller than he thought, but no match for him or Hercules in the height department. 

“I...hello, I’m Alexander Hamilton.” 

He straightened his shoulders, and suddenly, Lafayette understood too much. It struck him, and he smiled his dazzling smile. 

“Lafayette.” he told him. “You go get a cup of coffee, John and I are- well. I’m making breakfast. John, you are banished from my realm.” 

John stared at him, but the two of them retreated away from the kitchen. Lafayette turned back to the fridge, brooding. His heart was hammering and he knew that this would be one of those nights he spent at Hercules’ home instead of their tiny apartment.

_ “Herc, he’s so small, he’s tiny, and he’s so thin… I just had to bring him home!”  _

_ “You really didn’t have to. Is it really that good of an idea to live with him?” _

_ “Yeah well, it’s complicated. He lost the lease at his apartment, someone accidentally started a fire, it might have been him, he can’t cook for shit-”  _

_ “Lafayette, I don’t want you hurt.” _

_ “John could never hurt me!”  _

How wrong he had been. He was now in the same situation, easy to see when Alex walked in the room, how his petit’s face lit up. He had become Hercules, worried that this boy would destroy the one he cared- he loved for more. He started plating them food- a really hearty breakfast for Alex, egg white all organic veggie omelette for Laurens. He sighs as he comes out with the three plates, and sets them on the coffee table. 

“Okay. Breakfast. Alex, where are you from?” Lafayette asked, sitting down and sliding the plates to their respective owners. 

“The Carribean,” he said. “We just got all the visas worked out and now this. Luckily my classes are still covered.” 

Lafayette can already feel his heart tugging. 

“Do you have any family that can help?”

Laurens makes a noise that sounds slightly strangled, but Alex shakes his head. 

“They’ve been dead for a while, so no. It’s just me.”

Laurens stabs at his omelette. 

“Well. Until you get back on your feet, you can stay here, we don’t have another bedroom, but there’s the couch, and a little office you can use as well for your things.” he said. 

Alex and Laurens both light up, and Lafayette regrets the choice almost immediately as well. The three of them chat, and Lafayette can see the parallels quickly, can see the lines shooting, and wonders briefly if he can handle the fact that Laurens is already starting to belong to another. He wonders, but when Laurens smiles, when Laurens somehow looks at him even softer than before, he knows he can. 


	2. Over-Exposure

Hercules looks over at him where he’s stretched out in the passenger seat. He almost reaches over, but doesn’t. Not yet. He hasn’t earned that right yet. He smiles at him instead, and shrugs. “So...the puppy’s a law student,” He finally asks after the long silence. 

The two of them had been sitting in the apartment’s parking, Hercules waiting for Lafayette to explain, and when he did, it came out like a flood, exhausted and tense and shaking because Lafayette wasn’t sure how much Laurens was already in love with Hamilton, just that he was sure they were.

“Yeah, he is. He’s...he’s not as bad as Laurens was, but how bad was Laurens when we first found him? He had been alone longer since moving here.” 

“Laurens is different, you said,” Hercules reminded him. “They aren’t the same. We’re not running into the same damage as we did last time. You don’t have to do that again.” 

Lafayette shrugged, tugging at the worn out sweater he was wearing.  

“When I told him that Hamilton could stay, his entire face broke into this smile, it was like, it was like-” 

“The moment when the clouds break after a harsh storm,” Hercules said quietly. 

The man knew too well what that look was. It was the same as Lafayette had when Laurens came home, when Laurens entered the room, when the other man got a text or phone call from him, or if he found some of John’s hair ties, or got to borrow a sweater or-

“Yes, yes, like that- it was exactly like that. Apparently Hamilton came up for Spring Semester, and his Summer courses had an issue and now, he’s pretty homeless. He doesn’t have anything for him in the Caribbean,” Lafayette stated, interrupting his internal monologue. “Hamilton was alone, and doesn’t have family, and hasn’t found anything either. It’s the same damage.”

_ “He doesn’t have anything for him back home, his father won’t speak to him-” _

Hercules merely nods his head. 

“We said we’d do dinner tonight,” he reminded him. 

He wanted to wrestle this away from him, to have another night out with the two of them. He wanted every night like that, he wanted Lafayette to be with him, in his place. In his room. He knew that wouldn’t happen. He knew that Lafayette wouldn’t budge, he’d be with Laurens still.

“Can we just order bad take out, do some shots, and watch a really terrible horror movie?” Lafayette asked, looking worn in.  

Hercules nodded again. The confidence had oozed out of his friend, reminding them both that it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It wasn’t all good. It had been exactly two nights since Lafayette thought John was bringing home a stray dog, and he didn’t like the worn look on his face. Laf was the type of person who would wear himself out first, to protect the others. He would take the lead, even if it was to command a disaster. 

“As long as we do it at my place, that’s a good plan.”

“What’s wrong with mine?” Laf asked, surprised. 

“There’s a 19 year old puppy living on your couch, to start with.”

A 19 year old puppy that has become very close to Laurens. Laurens, who adores Hamilton. The Laurens who is adored- loved- venerated- by Lafayette. The Lafayette that he, Hercules, would do and give anything for. He sighs. He didn’t like being around the two of them together. With all of them in a room, tensions were always thick. Now, with one more? He definitely didn’t want to watch a twice as heartsick Lafayette pining after his  _ mon petit, mon petit,  _ waiting, watching Laurens slip further away and watching Lafayette hurt even more.

“Some nights, I just want you to myself,” Hercules added. “I have a townhouse, it’s got space, I live there alone. Stay for the night. Stay for the weekend, the summer. Stay.”

Lafayette merely nodded as he sighed. 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll just have to call Laurens in the morning, tell him where I am-” 

“Let me be yours for the night,” Hercules told him. “Let the two of them sort it out in the morning. What’s the worse that could happen?”

“My curtains?” Lafayette shrugged, defeated. “Okay. Yours. I- can I just tell him that I’ll have my phone off?” Lafayette asked. “To not worry him.” 

“Yeah, that’s fine. If it’s an emergency, he can call me. An emergency,” he emphasized. “Otherwise, you’re mine tonight. Just one night.” 

Lafayette smiled and leaned across the console, kissing his cheeks as he put his phone down. 

“What would I do without you, mon chat?” 

“No, no you damn baguette, you’re not calling me a cat.”

He put his arms back onto the steering wheel, sulking for a second. For the first time since they started dating, he decided to not leave it alone. Four months, and he was still choosing to not upset Lafayette and have his own self be miserable. 

“We’re talking tonight. Actually, right now. I- I know you love him, Lafayette, but I love you, and we’re dating. You can’t always keep stringing me along like this, you know?” Hercules told him. “You… you either need to tell him, or you’re going to have to end it with me. Even if he rejects you, or loves you back. Or gets upset, you need to tell him the truth. I can’t be the only one of the two people you love that knows. You tell him we’re dating.” 

Lafayette sat back and Hercules watched as his hands fluttered to the door handle. He blinked in surprise as he thought he might actually run instead. The panic, the unease, the torture of  _ this is it, this is it, this is it  _ tattooed across his chest from the inside. Lafayette eventually relaxed. 

“I’m with you. Why do I have to tell him?”

“Because you like him more than me. Don’t bother lying about it, we’re way more casual”  _ on one side of the pair  _ “than you are with him. You want him, don’t you? More than me. If we had to - if you only had the choice of one, it’d be him.” 

Lafayette looks trapped, and Hercules regrets the demand. He reaches out, touches his arm. He offers a smile, trying to ease the harshness of his words, rubbing circles with his thumb, murmuring an apology.

“I’m sorry, forget it. It was cruel of me to say.”

Lafayette shakes his head. He leans in, gently kissing him. 

“No, no. It’s what I needed. You’re right. I am stringing you along...but I’m not leaving you. Forgive me, mon amour. I may love him, but I love you more.” he told him, smiling gently. “You. I’d choose you, okay? You need to know that.” 

“I know that. I just...feel it’s unfair. For him to not know. Consent issues, things like that?”

“We’ve all got secrets, Mon amour. I see your point...I’ll tell him when I can.” 

Hercules smiled as he started driving. This was it, this was the weekend that he needed, he wanted. He wanted to be that buoy, to be that light that emerged from the thunderclouds for once. He wanted to be the one to give that to the man he was dating. He turned on the radio, and Lafayette fiddled with it till he found a station that he really loved. Hercules hated it, but for him...he didn’t care. He could endure a couple hours of jazz. He especially could deal with Lafayette singing smoothly along with anything and everything he already knew. 

“Are you instagramming date night?” he asked as he looked over.

“Yes, I am immortalizing it. It’s so much more mature than snapchatting it-”

“I just saw you send out three snaps, don’t you dare pretend you’re innocent.”

Lafayette shrugged, getting out of the car and stretching as he yawned. 

“Okay. I’m going to pick out the worst movie ever, so that means calling over Aaron Burr and watching him. I can’t believe John just invites him over! That’s why I have that rule.”

“Hey Laf?” Herc asked.

“Yes?”

“Let’s not mention them anymore tonight. Let it be just about us.”

 

Laf’s phone started ringing, and Herc froze. John’s ringtone, again. Lafayette blushes as he looks down at it, then looks back up at Herc. 

“I thought you weren’t talking to him tonight?” he asked. 

Lafayette shuts off his phone and shrugs, his face covered in guilt until he looks up, giving him that dazzling smile. 

“Guess I’m not talking to anyone tonight then,” he said with a grin. “Just you.” 

Hercules smiled and got his place unlocked, tossing his keys down onto the little side table that Lafayette had insisted upon. Laf mourned the rough scratches in it from Hercules being too rough, but smiled, kicking off his leather boots and migrating further in. Hercules couldn’t help but notice that his hat was John’s, his sweater was John’s. He figured when this started that he’d have to share. He wasn’t always happy about that, but lately, it had gotten worse. 

 

**TwoPintsJohnLaurens:**

**Herc help I kissed him I don’t know what to do**

 

**TwoPintsJohnLaurens:**

**I’ve locked myself in my room. What do I do?**

**TwoPintsJohnLaurens:**

**I don’t know what to do I need Lafayette**

**TwoPintsJohnLaurens:**

**Herc help I’m panicking his knocking**

**HerculesMULLIGAN:**

**Give it a rest, Laf is tired from babysitting you and turned off his phone.**

 

Hercules decided that Lafayette wasn’t the only one that would be able to shut out John Laurens tonight. He turned off his phone, and trailed into the living room after Lafayette. 

“We’re watching Sharknado and I ordered your favorite- what’s wrong?” he asked. “Did something happen? Who messaged you?”

“It was nothing, come on. Time to relax for the night. Just the two of us.”

Lafayette flashed him a wide grin, and Hercules was glad to see that the worn and confused Lafayette was replaced by his Lafayette. He sits down next to him, holding an arm up. Lafayette immediately snuggled into him, and he smiled, kissing the top of his head, hand drifting over the springs of curls. 

The world was wide enough. 

He smiled as he watched the dumbest movie, the dumbest movies sequels, and stayed with Laf except to get more beer or the chinese food. He watched over him as he fell asleep, He eventually scooped him up and off to the bedroom. He hated these nights, where the date seemed more about letting Lafayette recover from an emotional mess than being on a date. He was tired from taking care of it. 


	3. The End.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world ends. 
> 
> At least, Lafayette's does.

The world ended the next morning, but only a handful knew about it.

 

Lafayette thought that the ride home was awkward, was quiet. He had kept his promise to not mention John or Alexander that night, and had yet too. Hercules drove him back in silence, and as he stopped in front of the building, Lafayette was relieved to at least see that the building was standing, and that his apartment lacked scorch marks trailing out the pristine windows. He almost mentioned this to him, but as he turned, he couldn’t. Hercules had been stone cold and silent this entire morning. His shoulders slumped in defeat as he opened the door.

 

He got out, muttered a goodbye, and made his way up the stairs, trudging up them. He regretted not taking the elevator almost immediately, there was an ache in his bones from the stress and anxiety of not being able to answer his phone or check on Laurens all night. He pats the pocket it’s supposed to be in, anxiety rising up from inside of him as he heads upstairs. No phone. No turning it back on to hear from John. He remembered vaguely silently handing it to Mulligan last night, hoping that the temptation would be entirely removed from him. He barely could breathe by the time that he gets there, apologies already forming on his lips as he unlocks the door, expecting Hamilton and Laurens to be cuddled up on the couch, to be near each other, to be looking up expectantly as he opens the door. He expected them there, and needing him. That was how this entire situation worked out. It was possible because Laurens needed him.

 

He forgets that this is a class morning momentarily, that Laurens will be on his way to the University and that Hamilton will be as well. He blinks at the empty couch, and glances into the empty kitchen. He sighs as he goes in, putting his keys down and starting to look for some food. He notices that Laurens is out of Granola, and the yogurt that he likes too, jotting them down on the pad of paper next to their small fridge. He poured himself a glass of soy milk, preferring the taste of it since John was lactose intolerant, and that it didn’t make sense to buy a gallon of milk too. The two of them had barely any room in the fridge after all, and the two of them kept it stuffed with pretty organic healthy stuff. Rarely, John would splurge and eat a pizza on special occasions, knowing full well how sick he’d be after. He would get to cuddle him, hold him, and nurse him through it. John Laurens didn’t allow him to care for him that often. Not to that level. He had become dependent on him, sure. Laurens couldn’t cook, he could barely operate the toaster, but a person could survive and never have to cook. He enjoyed him being close. 

 

He started eating an apple, intent on getting some cleaning done. He hopped onto his laptop and logged into their messenger. The least he could do was let John know that he had made it home, and that he’d have lunch waiting for him.

 

**Lafayette:**

**Hey, phone was left at Herc’s place, silly me.**

**Lafayette:**

**It was great tbh. It’s been a long time since we hung out with just us.**

**Lafayette:**

**You and I need to talk when you get home. I’ll have lunch.**

 

He went about, surprised that the laundry was done, and that John had even hung and pressed his shirts that needed it. He was used to John’s pile, crumpled and left in the laundry room for weeks at a time. He wasn’t sure what to do with this knowledge, and the fact that John’s laundry wasn’t even there. He finished his apple and went to go make coffee, surprised that the pot was cold and empty. John hadn’t made any this morning? Or had he already cleaned it?

 

There wasn’t even a sweater or jacket tossed over the couch, John’s shoes weren’t by the door, and he usually had a pile of them. He felt the anxiety in him rise, and he went to John’s room, busting the door open with force that made him wince. He looked at it, staring wide eyed and unsure. The room was sterile, too clean, too void of anything that was remotely John. He heard his messenger go off, heart exploding with hope and happiness because, God, John was pretty much everything to him at this point. Hercules was solid, strong, reliable. Hercules had to have the passion coaxed out of him, inch by inch. Hercules wasn’t… it was different. He did love him, but there was something electric, and pure, when the two of them were together at last. He quickly walked over to the laptop and checked the messenger.

 

**TwoPintsJohnLaurens:**

**Yeah, thats okay. We don’t have to talk, its alright. I already know. I think its better if I move out. Okay?**

 

He read it a few times. He read it a few times more just in case, in case there was something he missed. He felt his heart squeeze. God, it was hard to breathe. He stopped reading and turned, shutting the laptop. So, he figured the two of them were dating, and took off? He probably felt betrayed, that Lafayette would be openly affectionate to him, would supply cheek kisses and hair pettings and let them be so close. To find the person flirting with you, your flatmate was in love with you...he couldn’t blame him, but it didn’t stop him from feeling sick and wrung out. It felt like something was crawling out of his throat. The tension in him rose as he read it again, trying to sort it out. It failed.

 

No. No. No. No. No. No.

 

He didn’t realize he was practically yelling the word until he heard frantic knocking on the door. He couldn’t move far enough to open it, he just stood there, shaking. He had stopped yelling, and probably one of the most broken sobs ever escaped him as the door finally opened. He looked up, expecting Hercules or Burr or John or Alexander or anyone else besides Thomas Jefferson. The man looked at him, shouldering out of his corduroy jacket and  offering him a grin. Thomas matched him every inch in height, the two of them looked so similar that they had been mistaken for brothers. The other wasn’t as fair, the other was more groomed than Lafayette was as well. He was more muscular, more tone, more put together.

 

“Well, what’s going on in here that’s got you beyond feeling tragic? I can hear you yelling from down the damn hallway.”

Lafayette stood up tall, matching the other man inch for inch as he tried to calm himself down. He forced a smile onto his face, that dazzling one that convinced everyone that the world was right. 

“My mother won’t be in the country, no Paris for me this summer is all, and then I saw my favorite hockey team lost- Hockey is simply the best. Come, let’s drink. Let’s raise a glass, mon ami.” 

 

Jefferson quirked an eyebrow, but turned, grabbing Lafayette’s favorite wine off the shelf, and then nodded to the couch. Lafayette walked over, and poured himself one of the most generous glasses he ever had. He took a quick drink from it, then another swallow. He knew that Jefferson wouldn’t just leave, that if he was drunk, he’d be still alive of the hope and the fervor. It would be okay; He would end up okay between all of it. He felt his body giving over to the euphoria of the alcohol when he felt something slid between his lips. He took a long drag, not questioning that the two of them were also getting high on top of everything else.  He didn’t care, he welcomed the numb that came along with it. This was much better than facing the truth. If he could hold it at bay, till he was alone, till John came home, it would be okay. They could talk.

 

**TwoPintsJohnLaurens:**

**The two of us have a place.**

 

**TwoPintsJohnLaurens:**

**I’ll stop by the apartment tomorrow when you’re gone**

 

**TwoPintsJohnLaurens:**

**[message deleted]**

**TwoPintsJohnLaurens:**

**Have fun with Herc**

 

He was pretty drunk, unaware of the messages, when Hercules showed up, and Jefferson let him in. He could hear them whispering, hear them talking, and he felt Hercules sit down next to him. He blinked up at him and he couldn’t contain it anymore. His shoulders were shaking, and he turned his attention to the TV. He felt a firm hand on his shoulder, guiding him, grounding him into place. 

“Jefferson left, you’re okay. It’s just us.”

“Just us.”

“The two of us. Just the two of us.”

Lafayette broke, face fracturing from the perfectly held mask of joy and bliss and calm. He was soon sobbing, falling forward, splashing wine onto the floor as he pressed into Hercules, trying to breathe, trying to calm down. He hiccupped, rubbing his face into him. He tried to calm down, but couldn’t. He soon just cried himself out against him, unable to speak or think clearly because his heart was broken. 

“Now, tell me what’s going on,” Herc said, hand firmly on his back as he played with his hair. 

“John found out about us.”

He winced at the sound of his own voice. God, he sounded terrible. He sounded like the worst ever. He hiccupped against him. He tried to sit up, but he was too fuzzy, too heavy. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bear to lift himself up. 

“He did?” Hercules asked. 

“He’s moving out. He and Alex found their own place and they’re moving out and I’m going to be here alone,” Lafayette told him. He sounded hoarse and worn down. “He couldn’t handle it. I’ve lead him on too. All this promise, gone, ripped out. Now it’s him and Alex.”

“I’m sorry, mon petit,” Hercules said, trying to imitate him. 

The air drew into Lafayette sharply and he looked up at him, shaking his head. “Non, no. Don’t call me that. I never want to hear a french pet name again.” he told him. “That was with him, and now that’s gone too.” 

He forced himself up, stumbling, drunk, high, and just threw up from the frayed nerves inside of him. He stared in horror at the floor and the mess he had just made. Hercules stood up, and steered him towards his own room. He was shoved into bed, a bucket put next to him, the vicious IM DRUNK painted onto its side blaring at him. He closed his eyes, shaking and shivering. The dream was over. The dream was dead and gone. He just wanted to hold onto it a little longer. 

 

A while later, he felt a hand on his hip. He shifted, rolled over, and faced the wall, the wall between where he and Laurens both had slept, beds right by each other. He put his hands up, knocking out the familiar morse code for good night, the familiar wait, getting nothing back in response. There wouldn’t be one again, either. 

 

The next morning was hell. He got up, looking at the wall as he tried to wrap his aching brain. He rolled over, bed empty again, heart and head emptier than he wanted them to be. He got up, shoving himself into clothes and tried to feel less sick and upset about himself, his life. Anything. He went out into the living room, staring at the spot on the couch where Hercules had fallen asleep. He looked at the floor, already scrubbed clean, but went and got some supplies anyway, scrubbing the spot more. Wanting to push it more, to clean it more. He had to clear it all away. 

He set about this self appointed task, working and rubbing a bare spot into the carpet by the time that Hercules pulled his hands away. 

 

Lafayette looked up at him, still lost, still empty, still needing something, anything, because he didn’t get up, or make coffee, or make an omelette that only John would eat. He didn’t make bacon for Alexander, he didn’t cook for himself, or have to buy Granola or yogurt last night, because that time was over. That time was gone. That was the past.

 

“I have to go to work,” is all that he said, snatching his phone. “If you see Laurens, maybe offer him your car to help move so he doesn’t have to take the subway or the bus.”

 

With that, the door was slammed behind him as he turned his phone on for the first time, seeing a couple messages about him kissing Hamilton, then this morning, where he announced he’d be moving out. He wondered what the message was that Laurens deleted. Wondering what he said that he had a chance to take back before it was too late. He wondered that as he got onto the subway himself, sitting towards the back and trying to pretend that his job at The Strand was far more interesting than it was. He wanted nothing more than to come back and have Laurens in his house, so that the two of them would spill apologies at each other, work it out, figure out what went wrong. That was what he wanted. 

 

It isn’t what he got.


	4. Stay Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurens was no longer the light of after the storm, but the eye of the Hurricane.

A kiss in the morning, hide the ache inside. A kiss at lunch, hide the ache inside. A kiss when they meet again, hide the ache inside. Wake up with a person in the bed, have it be not who they wanted, who they expected. 

 

Hide the ache inside. 

 

John was happy with Hamilton, there was no denying it. The two of them functioned well, even though he felt almost constantly sick now, either from not having the time or energy (or maybe the will to cook) to get healthy food, and his body wasn’t reacting well, hadn’t reacted well before when he tried doing this on his own. Hamilton was similar in that regard, that he could barely cook, he didn’t clean. Hamilton was the one who needed directing and John found it took all of his energy to direct him, leaving him worn down and exhausted. There was an ache inside him that he hid as well as he could, but it was too much. He would open the door to the apartment late at night with Hamilton and there would be no Lafayette. For a while, he almost kept going to the wrong apartment, to the wrong house, because he still internally started going home. 

 

A kiss in the evening, hide the ache inside. A kiss as he slips into bed, hide the ache inside. A kiss before leaving for work, hide the ache inside. A kiss when getting back to the townhouse, hide the ache inside. Slip in and out through the days, half drunk and tired and unsure but do it anyway. 

 

Hide the ache and the hole in your chest. 

 

Lafayette didn’t really know what to do. He couldn’t go to the apartment most nights, too unsettled by the emptiness. When he was there, he found himself usually drunk. If not, he was off getting high with Jefferson, because he welcomed the numb relief it brought and that was what he wanted more than anything else. He would usually go to Hercules place, have dinner and beer with him, hardly ever dates anymore. He tried to pretend not to notice when Hercules quit buying liquor. He tried not to notice when Hercules quit buying beer. He tried not to notice Hercules growing more quiet and cold and distant, even though he was completely his now, no one else’s. He didn’t belong or go to John Laurens anymore. 

 

Walk with him to school, hide the hurt inside. Walk with him to the bus, hide the hurt inside. Suggest where to get dinner, hide the hurt inside. Kiss him a lot, hide the hurt inside. Lay next to him in bed, though there is work to be done, hide the hurt inside. Keep standing next to him, trying to convince him that everything is okay, it’s all okay with just the two of them.

 

Hide the hurt and the loss that you feel. 

Hamilton doesn’t question why Laurens suddenly suggests that they move. Hamilton doesn’t stop him as he finds a new apartment, closer to school, closer to food, and on the opposite side of campus than where they used to live. He doesn’t bring up the hurt he feels as John Laurens suddenly breaks down and can’t breath, he doesn’t explain the loss that holds onto his heart as he watches another person he loves be lost when something is over. He stays next to him, working, and he makes room for him in an attempt to heal him. Most of the days are okay, most of the time, Alexander Hamilton is more than enough. John Laurens is no longer the light after the storm, but the eye of the hurricane. If anyone could keep up and in it, then they were safe, and that was where Hamilton was now. He was okay with that, sharing kisses now. The night where John had kissed him and locked himself away was a far off memory that he could barely place now. The two of them were together, and that would be enough. 

 

Get him a drink, hide the guilt inside. Pick him up from work, hide the guilt inside. Take him to dinner, hide the guilt inside. Talk to him about class and work, hide the guilt inside. Tuck him into bed, hide the guilt inside. Pick him up and take care of him when he’s too drunk, hide the guilt inside. Try to get past the fact that one person is completely responsible for destroying Lafayette, and that he had tried to do it out of love, when it was out of Jealousy. 

 

Hide the guilt that’s making it hard to speak to him anymore. 

Hercules wished the charade was true, that John Laurens was upset because he and Lafayette were dating, that this was caused by Lafayette loving him, because that was so much easier than the truth. The truth was too hard to take. He knew why John had left, and it had been one text from him that had wrecked them all. Lafayette hadn’t been tired of babysitting them, Hercules didn’t realize that Lafayette needed it, more than he had dared or hoped. He hadn’t known that Lafayette needed to be able to take care of them. He didn’t know that Lafayette needed to be a mother hen, and now that Laf and Laurens were separated...it was like someone had pulled a seam out of Lafayette’s soul and he was now slowly unraveling from the core. Hercules himself had deleted the hurled insult that would have tipped Lafayette off before returning his phone. 

 

**TwoPintsJohnLaurens:**

**You dont need to babysit me anymore, so sorry for fucking up your life. You could have told me you were sick of taking care of us. I could have changed.**

 

It couldn’t be that dangerous, could it?

 

Hide the ache, hide the guilt, hide the loss, hide the hurt, hide the hole in your chest. 

 

It would be weeks before the four of them were together for the first time. It would be on the Fourth of July before they would be in the same space, forced to interact. Hamilton had Laurens by the arm- never the hand in public, Laurens didn’t hold hands in public, he didn’t kiss in public, he didn’t touch in public at all- and he was dragging him down to the party in the courtyard. 

“Come on, come on, even Burr is there, and if Burr is there we can’t let him show us up,” Hamilton tried to reason with him.

“Seriously, slow down, I’m not up for a big day of drinking after earlier,” John whined. 

He was still hungover from the night before, and hated the ache the light caused him. He shivered as he tugged at his sweater. The weather said it was unseasonably warm, but he felt cold anyway. He followed him as he made his way through the crowd, spotting Jefferson and Burr ahead already, sitting at a table with a round of shots. He started his way over before Hamilton tugged him suddenly in a different direction. 

“What- they were right there!” Laurens protested. 

“Yeah I uh. Changed my mind, you’re right, we drank enough at midnight to more than make up for the day, you know, and I never get along with Jefferson-”

“No, I don’t know, this was your idea-” 

He found himself suddenly entangled with a person, and the two of them fit together perfectly as he steadied himself, familiar and foreign, and as he tried to mumble an apology, it died as he looked up into the face of Lafayette. He bit down on the inside of his cheek, panic and anxiety rising as he had avoided him for almost a month. He looked up at Hercules, large and looming, and like any smart person would do, he bolted. 

 

Lafayette blinked in surprise as the curls vanished from his side, as he looked helplessly at Hamilton. Alexander was practically throwing him daggers, and Hercules was looming behind him. His hands were suddenly empty, unaware that he had instinctively held him upright, protected him. He looked between the two of them. 

“Bring him back.” he slurred out, feeling miserable. “Bring back mon petit, right now.” he ran a hand through his own hair, limp and hanging for once. 

“Hercules, you keep an eye on Lafayette. I’m going to find Laurens, he’s kind of under the weather and he’s had a few already,” Hamilton said, quickly threading off through the crowd after his boyfriend. 

Hercules kept his hands on a protesting, rather drunk Lafayette and held him in place. “We don’t need both of you getting lost in a crowd like this.” he told him. “One of you will start a fight.”

“Lafayette! Hercules, come have a drink!” Aaron Burr called out. “I see that the whole gang is here! We’ve not done this for too long!” He thumped a hand on the table next to him, all grins. 

“You  _ are _ the worst Burr,” he mumbled.

Hercules steered him over, and Jefferson thumped a glass down in front of them. Screw the laws against open containers, they were drinking, it was the Fourth and they were young and free. “Drink up, have a brownie,” he offered. “They’re made special by me.” 

Lafayette listened to the orders easily, giving himself over to vice immediately, not wanting to be sated or satisfied or even placated. He just felt that ache in him again, as he couldn’t figure out what the hell went wrong. He just sat there, drinking, until Hamilton drug a protesting Laurens back to the table they were out. 

Lafayette looked up at him, looking over him. Even this drunk, he couldn’t help but notice that Laurens wasn’t looking great- he looked like he hadn’t slept, he looked like he wasn’t eating right again. He was hungover as well, that he knew from how he acted. 

“You’re looking well, mon petit,” he said. 

The words slipped out before he knew he said them. He put a hand over his mouth, glancing at Hercules. Herc let out a low groan before handing drinks to Hamilton and Laurens. 

“Yeah, well, been taking care of ourselves. We didn’t need anyone looking out after us, thanks,” Laurens said. 

Lafayette felt like a knife had been shoved right between his ribs at that, the utter rejection in his voice, the despise. He knew that Laurens could be cold, had seen it many times at school and parties, even when the two of them were in Paris a few months ago. He had never had it directed at him, however, and this change left him breathless and in pain. He held onto his ribs, the careful facade long ago broken and done in. There was no hiding how much he hurt, how much he couldn’t breathe anymore. He could hear Laurens, hear his breath hitch like it used to when he upset him.

“Please, please, sit with me. Raise a glass. I want to talk to you again, to listen again. Please.” He begged him quietly. 

Hamilton nudged Laurens to sit. Laurens was already tense, shoulders shaking as he tried to control some sort of emotion, he couldn’t place what. 

“It’ll be okay, Laurens. Come on, let’s sit. Have a drink,” Hamilton told him, guiding him into a seat. He squeezed his arm. 

“Yeah okay, raise a glass. Only because it’s been a while, and I have to hear how Theo’s doing, okay Burr?” he asked him, glancing up. “This has nothing to do with you Lafayette.” Laurens told him, not even looking over at him. 

“Okay, Okay, I get it, mon petit-”

“Don’t call me that. I’m not yours, you hear me?”

Lafayette flinched as the anger was suddenly getting directed at him. There was no stopping or denying the fact that he deserved it. He really deserved it. 

“Okay. Okay. I’m...I’m just sorry, I know it must have not been easy to hear or find out, and you should’ve heard it straight from me, and not however you did-”

“What, Hercules didn’t tell you?” Hamilton asked suddenly. 

“Tell me what? Herc?” Lafayette looked up at him. 

Shit. Oh shit.

Hercules tugged at his collar and shrugged. “I dunno man.”

“You don’t know? You don’t know how Lafayette didn’t have the balls to tell us himself?” Laurens shot off. 

“Gentleman, be careful, not to loud, the police might hear,” Burr warned them. 

“Hercules, what is he talking about?” Lafayette asked. 

“I don’t know.” Hercules insisted. 

_ “Give it a rest man, Laf is tired of babysitting you and turned off his phone.”  _

Laurens’s tone is low, deadly, and full of venom, subtly but unmistakably mocking Hercules.. He stands up suddenly, getting tangled up in the chair and almost falling over.

“All of this...is ...no. no. Non. You must understand, Mon petit, I have never, would never-” 

“Don’t call me that ever again!” Laurens shouted. “You made it damn clear that I was a burden, which is why I left you in the damn first place! I loved you, and you went and did this shit!” he yelled. 

 

The world ended again in that moment.

 

Lafayette felt the hope shatter, the hope grow, the hope burst inside of him the same few seconds, it bubbled up, and the stress and anxiety soon had him doubled over in pain and he was burning from the inside out. 

“Oh, oh shit-” 

Hands were at his back, smoothing his hair back and he half expected it to be Hercules, or Jefferson or Burr. When he mumbled a thanks and looked up, it was into the eyes of John Laurens. He smiled at him, running fingers through his curls. The ache in his chest was back, and he leaned into him. 

“Never got tired of taking care of you, mon petit.” 

“Come on, quit being sappy, Hercules let’s get him home- to his own apartment.”

His home, his rules. Lafayette quirked a smile. Laurens was putting the power dynamic back into his hands already. He mumbled a thanks as he was helped up, supported by Jefferson and Hercules. Laurens hung back, not sure how to feel. 

“So...I think we finally need to have that talk,” Laurens said. 

“I think we do. Come over? I need someone who can operate my coffee pot,” Lafayette said. “I don’t want anyone else over.”

“Coming,” Laurens said, smiling wide. 

The storm was over, they survived the hurricane. 


	5. He Sleeps through the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette is sure that he's dreaming.

Lafayette groaned as he rolled over, feeling like he’d been hit in the head. He shivered, and a familiar set of hands ran through his hair. He looked up at him, and Laurens offered him that smile. He blinked, a little bewildered. He stared at him, trying to reach up, to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming again. He needed this to be real. 

“I’m not running out on you, I promise.” he told him, kissing his forehead. “Really. This time, I know what’s really going on, okay?” he told him. 

Lafayette closed his eyes again, and he felt Laurens combing through his curls with his fingers, hushed voices, and he heard the other was Hamilton. He tried to protest, to make a comment, but is hushed. He falls back into sleep and surrenders himself to the feeling of needing rest and respite. He could sleep forever in this embrace. He just might. 

 

He woke a few hours later, really feeling like shit. There was water nudging him. He took the glass, struggling to sit up. A set of arms helped him up, and he murmured thanks. The water was at his lips, and he drank greedily from it. There were a couple pills at his lips and he swallowed them down as well. He looked up to the set of curls, to those eyes that were looking haunted. How long had Laurens been sitting up to watch him? His freckles seemed to pop against his pale skin, bruised skin under the eyes prominent. 

 

“It’s only been a day,” Laurens said, grim smile. “You went and needed a long nap. And a good rest. You’re sobering up,  _ mon petit. _ ” he told him, smiling. “It won’t be pretty, but it will be necessary, okay?” he told him, kissing his cheeks. “I need you to sober up, to stop what you’ve been doing for the past month. I need you to live.” 

 

He nodded his head, wincing. He tried speaking, but John spoke up instead.

“Jefferson explained almost everything to me. How you’ve been drunk since I left. We left. I don’t...I don’t want to move back into here. I don’t… I don’t know what to tell you, it’s a lot to process,” he admitted. “I’ve been mad and hurt for months, and that was...that was all I lie. It was a lie, and I believed in it so much I ran, instead of talking to you. I should’ve known you better, but, it hurt, okay? It hurt, and I felt so betrayed.” 

He looked up, and Lafayette followed his gaze to where Hamilton was standing in the doorway. He felt Laurens tense up, and Lafayette shrugged. He patted the space next to him. He had to make room in his life, in his heart, and he would. He would somehow learn how to share. He had wanted both Laurens and Hercules to be okay with him loving both, and this was the start. 

“Mon ami, the bed is big enough, and Laurens is the best cuddler that I know.” he told him as he grinned. “That I know for a fact doesn’t change with time.”

Alex gave them a wary look before he climbed into the bed with them as well. He smiled at them, and then, it was okay. It was somehow all going to be okay, even if it was work, and they fought, because they were together. He finally smiled, an honest smile, showing how weary and worn down he had made himself. Laurens planted kisses along his hairline, before leaning over and kissing Alex as well. 

“You need me to cook for you,” Lafayette said. “I lied earlier. Yesterday? You look like shit. You only do well when you eat organic.” He prodded him a little. “Plus you’re getting chubby. Look at this.” he presses his face against him, grinning. “What do you think, Alex? Laurens is getting all soft.” He teased. 

Laurens turned red, scooching away as he let out a huff. Lafayette laughed and Hamilton let out a reluctant smile. Laurens softened up, blushing still as he shrugged a shoulder. “You always complained about me being underweight, so I guess that you’re just going to have to complain about this now,” he stated. “Ham, can you give us a few?” he asked. 

“I...yeah.” he got up, kissing Laurens on the forehead. He squeezed one of Lafayette’s shoulders before retreating and shutting the door. “Only because this is important. And, if he tries anything without your permission, I will hunt him down.”

Laurens sighed, cuddling back up to him, pulling him in close. He thought about kissing, they both thought about kissing each other, but the closer they got, the more flustered Laurens got. 

“I get the feeling that your talk and my talk were two different subjects,” he settled on at last.

“I...yes. They are. They were. They still are. I … I need you to know. I don’t think I’m babysitting. I never once thought I was babysitting. In the beginning, you might have needed me. I needed that just as much. I needed to feel important, and you, mon petit, you were there. You needed a bit of help. I needed to give care. I..you were a good roommate, and we were getting to know each other. I don’t feel like your babysitter,” he stated. 

It’s spilled out like a causeway and he couldn’t breathe correctly. He felt himself stretch and coil. He looked up at him and smiled, at him, trying to ease the tension out of himself. Laurens nodded, sighing. He shrugged. 

“So..what was your talk about? If it wasn’t about me being a burden?” he asked quietly. 

Lafayette leaned up, all hesitation and butterflies. His heart hammered, and before he knew it, he was kissing him. He was no good with words, hardly good with English. His mouth, his body, he was good with. He felt his body relax, felt Laurens relax against him. He let out a small sound, and soon, he felt hands tugging into his ponytail, felt himself slipping into the caught breath he felt inside of Laurens and he was whining and he couldn’t breathe right. He finally pulled back. Laurens was blushing, and Lafayette was blushing and they were just breathing. They weren’t speaking at all, and that was alright. He smiled, and Laurens smiled.

“I’m um...I’m dating Hamilton,” Laurens blurted out. 

“I… yeah, I know. I noticed that.” he mumbled. “I...well, you know I’m dating Hercules,” Lafayette stated. “But...I ...always felt like there was you in my heart. You were there, and I couldn’t walk away from you.” he let out a sigh as he sat up. “What made you leave? Who told you that I was tired?” he asked. 

Laurens didn’t speak for a moment. He sat up, shrugged his shoulders. He bit his lower lip, then looked out the window. “That’s not important.” he told him. “What is important is that we’re past that. We can figure this out, right? The three- the four of us. The four of us can figure this out somehow.”

Lafayette felt like he was struggling to breathe again, connecting pieces. He was still fuzzy, still out of it. He shook his head, mouthed a few words, then laughed. Laurens started, and Lafayette mumbled apologies.

“Okay. Okay. You won’t open up, but if I get it right- there’s only one other person who knew. Only one other who I had ever told how I felt about you. God. He did this, he did. You can’t convince me otherwise. He...I can’t believe it. You know how cold and distant he’s been? How quiet? He’s been letting me get this drunk. He’s been letting me be cruel and bitter and this off. That deleted message- that one deleted message. I bet you didn’t even delete it, did you? It was Herc- the day you were gone, you were just gone and I was upset. And it was him, this whole time. He did this to both of us. He did this, and you paid and I paid and he’s the only one who hasn’t paid at all.”

Soon Lafayette can feel his shoulders and chest ache, and he knows.  He knows and he can’t breathe right, and Laurens goes quiet, and shrugs. 

“I figured it out last night,” he admitted. “He- well he did it out of love, so I can’t be too upset at him-” 

“You should be furious. I’m furious. I’m bitter, he hurt you, he hurt us, he destroyed us both and then he kept quiet. I thought all of this was because you found out about us dating! Or that I had this massive crush on you! All this time, HERCULES, THAT JERK-”

He didn’t realize that he had been shouting till the two of them heard the door slam. They quit trying to figure it out as Laurens scrambled out of the bed. He quickly tore through the small flat, looking, and when he noticed it was just them, he went pale. 

“Hercules, we need to get to Hercules, like now.” he said, voice raising and sounding...panicked? 

Lafayette blinked in surprise. He looked around to.

“No, non, non, little Alex-”

“Has a big ass temper on him, worse than mine, and I’m telling you at this point we might be preventing a homicide. Where’s your phone?” 

“I- think Herc’s been holding onto it? Where’s yours?”

Laurens dashed over to the counter and he tried finding his phone, where it was. 

“Bastard took it so I can’t call him. He took my phone! Come on, we have to go, the bus over usually leaves now, and this is the one that’s always on time, we have to try the next stop-”

“No, non, it won’t be enough time. We have to- Jefferson has a car. We can go.”

“Go go go go go go-”

He kept the chant going as he grabbed his boots and Lafayette was offered a brief moment of exhiliration, of seeing those boots carelessly toed off by the door, before he was grabbing his own shoes and coat too. They were both running out of time. 


	6. The Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can take the kids from the fight, can't take the fight from the kids. This chapter is for those of you waiting for the consequences to hit Hercules for what he's done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh, there's a lot of blood. I apologize. There really was a lot of blood? More than I expected.

Lafayette had his arms around Laurens in the back seat, swearing as a slightly tipsy Jefferson took another shitty turn. He hadn’t realized that Jefferson didn’t have seatbelts in the back, conveniently cut out. He really wished he hadn’t known Jefferson had been drinking either, but they were a little desperate here.

_ “Oh god Oh god Oh god oh god, oh fuck-” _

“Jefferson, he’s going to hurl if you don’t ease up-” Lafayette tried warning him. 

“ _ Jefferson if you don’t hurry up I’m going to  murder you myself-”  _

Lafayette clamped his hand down on Laurens and tried to keep the smaller man calm as they hit another curve too fast, throwing Laurens into the side of the car and Lafayette on top of him. They had made it to the car quickly, and Jefferson seemed to understand more than Lafayette himself did, but apparently the two of them had gone toe to toe before. Jefferson had practically shoved them in his jeep in order to hurry them up. 

“Told you two to buckle up,” Jefferson mumbled. “Hope we make it their in time to watch.”

“You don’t even have seatbelts-”

“To prevent a damn homicide, he almost broke your jaw when you bumped into me at the bar, there’s no telling what he’ll-”

Laurens whimpered, tugging on his curls and Lafayette took his hands, bracing at the next turn, feeling relief as he saw the townhouse ahead, Hercules’s car safe in the driveway. Jefferson skidded to a halt in front of it, and Lafayette was glad that none of them were dead. The three of them poured out of the car, Laurens managing to lose it finally on the grass outside of the townhouse, pale and breathless. He waved the two of them away, wheezing, and pointing to the open door of the house, wiping sick off his chin.

Lafayette bolted inside, swearing internally about forgetting to bring John’s inhaler. Jefferson refused to leave Laurens alone outside. Lafayette tripped over the upended table, looking at the broken leg on it. He took a deep breath, hoping that that was caused by Hercules being angry yesterday.

“Monsieur Hamilton? Hercules? Where are you?” he called out. 

The house was quiet and he was scared of this. He heard Laurens come in, and the two of them started sweeping the downstairs together. Lafayette kept track of him by the sound of his slight wheezing. He cursed himself again for not carrying the backup inhaler. What if on top of everything else, Laurens had an asthma attack? They met back in the kitchen, then finally heard yelling upstairs and pounding on the floor. There was a distinct sound of several things breaking. The three stood tense for hardly a second. Laurens went flying up the steps, Jefferson close behind him. Lafayette took the rear, surprised that Laurens could move that fast. 

Laurens ripped a door open, and Hercules and Alex spilled out, a whirl of fists and blurred limbs attacking and defending and attacking and defending. Laurens was engulfed by them, trying to get between them. Lafayette reached in, getting a solid hit to his shoulder. He made a noise, and Laurens tried to get his arms around Hamilton. Jefferson and Lafayette both tried removing Hercules. Whose blood was on him? He had a bad nose bleed already. 

Laurens gave another pull on Alex, trying to get him back, away. 

“Jesus Christ, calm down-” he tried, it coming out as a wheeze. 

Hamilton seemed startled enough by this, and he was about to comment on it. His concentration broke from the fight, and Lafayette and Jefferson seemed to ease up. Never before had Lafayette been thankful for his asthma, but was glad that it seemed to break them apart, at least for now. He let out a sigh, about to make a comment. He stopped when his arms forcefully emptied, taken by surprise. Hercules wasn’t done fighting. He got a good footing on the landing, ripping his arms out of Jefferson’s. Before they had a chance to react, to speak, to yell a warning, Hercules swung a hit to where Hamilton’s head should have been. It wasn’t. Hamilton had turned to Laurens, had shifted. Hercules swung, missed, and stumbled into the pair. Hamilton managed to not get any further hits to him, but Laurens was caught off guard. He stumbled, railing too low for even him. 

Lafayette had a brief flash of memory about complaining what a hazard it was. The rest was interrupted as Laurens disappeared out of Hamilton’s arms and out of sight. The next sound they heard was a distinctive crunch and thud. Lafayette took off, almost over the damn balcony. He skipped most of the stairs, jumping over the last six as he rushed to get around. Hamilton was quick after him, Jefferson pulling Hercules back. 

Laurens lay on his back in a heap on the floor, coughing. He tried getting upright, wincing and holding his leg. He didn’t scream, Lafayette realized he didn’t have the wind power to do it. He slid down next to him, taking his hands. 

“Don’t move, don’t move- Mon petit, don’t move-” he begged and pleaded. 

“Fuck. Fuck,” Laurens wheezed out. 

He was already going pale, and Lafayette looked up at Hamilton, helpless. 

“He needs his inhaler- we didn’t grab it-” his voice was shaking. Where was the blood coming from? 

“I’ve got one in my coat- Jefferson, my coats on the landing-” 

The object was tossed down, and Hamilton soon had it at Laurens’s lips, and they got him to take it. It took a few breaths for him to get a good one in, and he visibly eased as oxygen was suddenly in him again. 

“I- ow- wind got knocked out of me,” Laurens tried to joke. “Falling for you.” he stated.

Lafayette looked lost and Jefferson came down, taking over. 

“Hamilton, Lafayette, I need you to back up- back the fuck up, both of you. I’m not going to poison the damn kid. Laurens, buddy, sure, we’re buddies, right? Need you to lay still. These idiots aren’t doing it right. We’ve got to get you to a hospital.” 

He tried to get Laurens up, but as soon as he hooked a hand under his knee, Laurens let out this whimper and hiss, and Lafayette looked up as he tried to go back. Hamilton held him back as Jefferson tried to get his skinny jeans off his leg, and that was it, that was where the blood was coming from. He moaned as Hamilton held him. 

The footsteps thudded down the stairs and Lafayette looked up at Hercules, guilt written all over his face. He nodded towards the couch, and then pointed towards the kitchen. 

“One of you go get a pillow, there’s duct tape in there. We’re taking you to the hospital, got to brace your leg as best as we can, okay?” he told him. 

“Think my track days are over?” he asked. 

“You can’t even run without trying to die, don’t act like this is new,” Hercules told him. 

Lafayette ran to get the tape, coming back quickly. Hamilton, nose dripping with blood, was holding the pillow for Hercules, who was sporting a good cut lip and a black eye. Jefferson was checking over Laurens’s head and neck. Lafayette wordlessly handed him the duct tape, shaking because fuck, that was a lot of blood. They were covered in it and there was just more coming-

“Lafayette, don’t you dare pass out. Come on, we’ve got to get him outside,” Jefferson said, trying to pick him up again. 

“Sorry man,” Hercules said, picking him up. 

The scream that Laurens let out from the sudden pain tore through the home, and the rest of them almost stopped. Hercules just mumbled another apology, carrying Laurens to the doorway. Laurens clung to him, shaky and crying from pain now, not that anyone would blame him. Hamilton darted forward, getting the door open as the rest of them shoved through it, being careful of Laurens. 

“Come on, get in the SUV, it’s got better seats,” Hercules said. “He’ll be more comfortable, one of you climb in so we can support him. Jefferson, can you drive?” he asked. 

“Yes, yes. I can, I can do that.” 

He got the keys as Lafayette scrambled into the back, reaching out. Hamilton climbed in as well, and they got him across their laps. He was still whimpering, eyes tight and closed. He let out a minor stream of curses. Jefferson got into the front and started the car. Hercules got in as well, silent. No one spoke. There was nothing left to say. Jefferson just drove, and Hercules stared at the floorboards. His shoulders were slumped, and he looked more worn than ever before. Hamilton was being careful, trying not to touch his leg, holding onto his other hip in an attempt to keep him still. Lafayette kept his hand in his, squeezing it and rubbing it. The other was also holding him in place. They should’ve just called an ambulance. 

As they pulled up to the emergency room, Lafayette didn’t get a chance to speak as Laurens was pulled away from him. He reached out, hoping, wanting, unsure. He just needed him back. He looked up to Hercules, across to Hamilton. He felt a sob escape his chest, the three of them just in the car. 

“We can’t fight anymore, we can’t- this is what we did. We were fighting and jealous and now- now- mon petit is hurt, he’s the one who paid because we couldn’t be adults about this,” he managed to finally say. “I don’t- he got hurt because of what we did.” 

The sobs broke out of his chest, and Hamilton was the first to pull him in, rocking him slightly. He knew it wasn’t fair, knew it wasn’t right that Laurens’s boyfriend was the one holding him. He had just as much right to be hurting and angry, and he was taking that away. What he wasn’t expecting was Hercules to nudge him to the side, to get in as well. He felt those strong arms around him, tense with grief and anxiety. He pushed his face into his shoulders, held tight by Hercules Mulligan. He took a moment to compose himself.

“Come on, we can’t leave him in there alone. We’re responsible. We should be there for him. All of us,” he said, giving Herc’s shoulder a squeeze. “All of you. He can’t have you thinking that this was done on purpose- I’m making room back in my life. Maybe we all need to. For him.” 

He sighed as he finally got up, trying not to be too angry, too hurt, too anything. He decided in that moment he no longer needed to punish Hercules. He was going to do it to himself. Breaking your friend’s leg was a pretty big punishment in itself. 

“Well, the good news is we stopped a homicide,” Jefferson commented lightly. 

“I wasn’t going to kill him!” Hercules proclaimed, face in shock.

“We weren’t worried about that,” Lafayette mumbled.

“What do you mean?”

“ _ I  _ was on my way to murder  _ you  _ because no one hurts John,” Hamilton stated, full of conviction. “However, I changed my mind. I have more important things to worry about. Like making sure Laurens is okay.”

“Pretty sure the sound he made when he hit the ground was a sign he wasn’t,” Lafayette said. “Though...we’re about to walk into an E.R., covered in blood.” 

“Yeah, well, we’ve done worse,” Hamilton said. “Or at least I have. Come on, he’s waiting.” 

“You heard the man, gotta go see your other boyfriend,” Hercules stated. 

“Other boyfriend?” Lafayette asked. 

“Well, unless you dump me, I’m pretty sure one of us has two boyfriends right now, and that person in this trio is you, Gilbert.”

Hamilton grabs Lafayette, carefully tugging him along. Hercules is right behind him, and while the circumstances suck, and he’s nervous and worried, for a second he smiles. They have a ton of work, but in that moment, he had a feeling that things would work. They just might work out. He was led in by one boyfriend, and by the time he reaches the desk, he’s all smiles again for the first time in months. 

“Yeah, I’m here to see my boyfriend, John Laurens,” he said proudly. 

Hercules couldn’t help but have his heart melt a little, the anxiety and stress and guilt ease a little too. For once, something he had said and done made that look come over Lafayette’s face. Hercules was the light at the end of the storm. 

  
The Hurricane had passed. 


	7. After the War

Laurens felt heavy. He felt too heavy to exist. He tried moving, thick and blurred. He let out a cough, throat raw, body sore as anything. He soon was coughing bad, and tensing. He felt a hand at his shoulder. Two hands. They belonged to different people, people he knew well, he realized in the fog. He relaxed back, and finally managed to get his eyes open. Since when were eyelids so damn heavy? He looked up, trying to focus the faces. They were so blurry, he couldn’t get them into focus. He smiled, reaching up to touch Hamilton’s face, and was surprised when he couldn’t muster the energy. The other took that hand and put it on Hamilton’s cheek, and Laurens turned to Lafayette, worry and pain etched across it. He winces as he tries to sit up. The two of them were immediately protesting, trying to get him to go back down.

“Just rest for once, Laurens, you’re always yelling at me to-”

“ _ Non mon petit-” _

Laurens smiled and laid back down. He tried focusing. Everything was still fuzzy, his mind was fuzzy, his site was fuzzy as well. 

“Can’t see.” he told them. 

“No, probably not. Her- someone’s getting you some clothes and some glasses to wear. They took out your contacts,” Hamilton explained.

“They?” Laurens asked in the fog.

“Hospital staff. You’re still in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?” Lafayette asked.

“Falling for you,” Laurens sleepily mumbled. “When do I get to go home? Probably not that hurt. It was just a fall.”

“John, you’ve just had a couple surgeries, you’re not going anywhere, they can’t even got a cast on you,” Hamilton said, squeezing his hand.

“Wait, surgery? I can’t have surgery, they didn’t ask-”

“They didn’t ask you. You’re leg, it was an open fracture, it was bad-” Lafayette said, trying to interrupt to calm him.

“I need to see, need to see- need to see-” Laurens tried to sit up, to pull away the blankets and Lafayette peeled back the covers, knowing that he was getting tense and upset. Laurens strained to look. 

“Thank god, it’s still there, I couldn’t feel it,” Laurens said, slumping back. 

Hamilton quirked a smile. 

“It’s still there. They both are. No one stole a limb. They did put a lot of metal and screws into them instead,” he told him as he settled down. 

Laurens was already exhausted. He heard a beep, felt a slight burn in his veins, and then drifted back off under the morphine. 

 

By the time he woke up again, Hamilton wasn’t there, and Lafayette and Jefferson were. 

“Which one of you assholes is my boy- no. Neither of you are Hamilton, he’s my boyfriend, one of you’s really hot and the other one’s hot too but is an asshole. So which one’s hot and where’s Alexander?” 

Jefferson let out a low laugh, and Lafayette came from the corner he was in. 

“You’re still fucking blurry and you’re not wearing your ponytail back,” he complained. 

Lafayette plopped down next to him, and tapped his arm. 

“I’m going to put your glasses on you, unless you can actually manage it this time? Hamilton is in class.” he asked. 

“Okay, class. This time?”

“Yes, though I don’t think last time you were really awake. You said you wanted a kitten, rolled a little, and passed back asleep.”

Laurens managed a little bit of a smile. He held out his hand, fumbling for his glasses. Lafayette clumsily helped them on and he then found the world in focus. He looked at the two of them, and he stared. Jefferson had a bandage slapped over one cheek, mottled bruising. He turned to Lafayette, and frowned. He managed to get his hands over the strap to the sling. He looked up at him. 

“It was separated in the fight. We’re all a little banged up. Hercules has some stitches, Hamilton broke his nose, but you- you were the worst- we hurt you…” Lafayette trailed off as Laurens touched his cheek. 

“So Hercules is okay? Hamilton didn’t hurt him too much?’ Laurens asked. 

Jefferson laughed. 

“That’s the Laurens I know. Listen, Laf here is tiptoeing. Do you want to see Herc? He’s down in the lobby, the three of them figured you’d be too angry to see him.”

“Why would I be angry?” Laurens asked. 

“Well he lied to you and Laf, fought your first boyfriend, and shoved you off a landing, smashed your leg?” Jefferson started. 

Lafayette stared him down.

“Still want to see him,” Laurens said as he tried to curl up. “How long’s it been?” he asked. 

“Couple days,” Lafayette said, nodding at the door, letting Jefferson know to get him. “They say that you can go home in a couple more, you took a really bad fall, Mon petit,” he told him, kissing his cheeks. “Though- there’s the issue of where? My apartments floors up, yours?” He asked as the door shut as Jefferson left. 

Lafayette was busy kissing the bruised knuckles and parts of John’s hands, and John felt his heart flutter. Flutter a lot. He was sure a battalion of butterflies was going at it in his chest.

“Floors up,” he mumbled. 

“Okay, okay- so we need to figure out what to do in an emergency, then, we’ll be okay, you can stay over.”

“Maybe? I still- Lafayette, I hated you for a month. A whole month.” 

“I deserved it,” Lafayette mumbled.

“You didn’t deserve it. You were innocent, I was angry, and I just ran. I deserve this, I always do,” Laurens said. “But what did Thomas mean? First boyfriend?” he asked. 

“I uh. I want to know- you and I?” he asked. “I already asked Hamilton. If he says that you’re okay with it, he’s okay with it too. I haven’t- I don’t plan on breaking up with Hercules either. I want to date both of you,” Lafayette mumbles. 

“You want to date me?” Laurens asked. “Even after all this?”

“Even after all this. In spite of all this? Because of all this maybe? I don’t...you getting hurt was the part where we need to start figuring this out again.”

Laurens nodded and Lafayette kissed his cheek. 

“If Hercules and Ham ar okay with it.” Laurens said. “Don’t think I can go out dancing,” he mumbled. “I’m a terrible dancer.”

Lafayette laughed and Laurens smiled. 

“They’re both okay with it. Hamilton is your first boyfriend-”

“Just my boyfriends. I’m not ranking you jerks.”

The door opened and Laurens looked up to Hercules. Hercules forced a smile, and Laurens managed one back.

“Hercules Mulligan,” he managed with a smile.

“I understand that you hate me, you probably never want to see me again. I can get it. I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve Lafayette or you or Hamilton or any of my friends. I shouldn’t be let off the hook. I was awful. I’m okay with losing my boyfriend and you hating me. I deserved to be hit a lot fucking more for what I did.”

Hercules took a breath, readying himself to continue.

“I forgive you,” Laurens said during the interlude. 

“No you don’t,” Mulligan said.

“Yes I do,” Laurens said as he tries sitting up. 

Lafayette stayed him. Hercules didn’t meet his eyes at first, but as he settled on his leg, he decided to almost look at his face. Laurens looked at Lafayette, and Lafayette looked at him. Laurens smiled. 

“Forgiveness. Can you imagine?” he asked. 

Lafayette looked up at Hercules, and Hercules looked at Laurens finally. 

“I don’t deserve it.”

“You fucked up for the right reason, so I can’t stay mad. Plus. You have a car, and I cannot do a broken leg on the subway.” 

Hercules cracked a smile. 

“Better than that, I have a house with only three stairs instead of three flights,” he told him. “Stay over, all of you. It gives you a place, it gives me a chance to start redeeming myself,” Hercules told him. 

“There’s no need for that,” Laurens said.

“There is. I have to forgive myself sometime, and taking care of all of you is a great place to start. None of you can take care of yourselves, especially not at this moment. Hamilton doesn’t sleep, Lafayette’s so permanently hungover, and you can’t walk or breathe now,” Hercules said. “I’ll get you to classes, we’ll call your work, figure it out, alright?”

“Alright,” Laurens said, yawning again. “Damn, everything is so heavy. My arms are heavy, my legs are heavy. I’m heavy. Heavy.”

“Told you you were getting chubby,” Lafayette teased. 

Laurens huffed, then winced. He put a hand to his side, rubbing at it. Lafayette’s face flickered with worry, but Hercules sat down finally, rubbing Laurens arm. “Might have broken a rib too. You’re damn scrappy, and you’re right, Hamilton is too. He tried to challenge me to a duel after we knew you’d live,” he joked. 

“God, he might. It’s something he’d do, you know? Duel someone.”

“Especially over you,” Hamilton stated as he walked in, taking off his jacket.

He had bruising around his face, bruises and bloody knuckles catching Laurens’s eyes. He offered him a smile. 

“Guys, can I have a moment alone with Alexander?” he asked, looking around. “I’d like to just chat with him for a bit, while I’m still sort of awake,” he added. 

Hercules nodded and got up. Lafayette hesitated, but Hamilton cleared his throat. Lafayette nodded and moved. Hercules took him by the shoulder, leading him out of the room. They shut the door behind them, and Hamilton took one of the vacated chairs. He took one of his hands, and Laurens for once didn’t complain. He squeezed it as well as he could, kissing his cheeks. 

“Hey..hey. I need to know, Alexander, I have to hear it straight from you. Please be honest- I love him but I’m not going to be with him if it hurts you,” Laurens said. “I need to hear it from you.”

“I...I’m not sure how to go about it, but I know that...Laurens, I don’t have anyone else. I have you, I have Lafayette and Hercules and Aaron Burr. I sometimes can count on Jefferson too, when it’s needed. You’re more important to me than anyone I’ve known. I don’t like friendships or relationships. You’ve nested in me, and I can’t get you out. I want you happy. I want you safe. You’ve never been happier than when you have two of us. You’re in love, it’s written over you, you need him. You have the same look when you look at me, I can tell. You feel about him the same way that I feel about you. You feel about me the same way too. I haven’t had to share in a long time. I haven’t shared in a very long time. I want you happy, I need you happy and whole. I know that you won’t be if you aren’t with him. I know that you won’t be if we aren’t together. I can deal, I can live with this. There might be days when I’m jealous, when I want you more than I want the two of you. As long as you can respect that I’m not perfect, that I’m adjusting, then this might work. I just need you to communicate. I need you to be able to let me know how you feel. I want to know when you go on dates, if you plan on having a night together- don’t give me that look, John Laurens, I need to know these things too, you’re both adults and have needs okay?” he looked at him. 

Laurens was red, really red, but managed to nod his head. He nodded, then took a deep shaky breath. 

“Okay. Um. We have to figure out this living thing, if my leg’s really that bad? Hercules and Lafayette both offered, but can you live with either of them?” he asked. 

“As long as we’re not permanently uprooted, I’ll survive. Hercules is the smarter of the two options, he has a first floor place. We can camp there, get away from the Heights, and he can drive you to appointments. The ride should be easier on you than trying to use the bus or metro, correct?”

“Yeah, it should be. So...we’re going to do this.  I’m dating the two of you. Lafayette’s dating Hercules and me. Are you dating anyone else?” he asked. 

Hamilton shook his head. 

“There’s only you.” 

“I love you, Alexander. You’re the closest friend I’ve got.”

Hamilton smiled, leaning down and kissing Laurens. 

  
There should always be peace after a war. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is almost over, the next chapter is sort of like the epilogue. I have no idea if there will be as many longer fics in this series in the future, or if I'll be just posting cute headcanon ideas I have in the same series in the universe I've made. I thought it best to be honest with you. 
> 
> I love you all so much! This is the most successful fic I've ever written, the comments are great, the kudos give me life, and every hit is just an affirmation I don't suck. If you'd like, feel free to hit up twopintsjohnlaurens.tumblr.com and I will answer Hamilton specific things there from the POV of this John Laurens.


	8. Wait For It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The last fic in this one. I have a couple more John-centric fics in planning at this time as well. I wanted to wrap this one up instead of dragging it out. This was basically all the plot I had at the moment. Check me out and ask away at twopintsjohnlaurens.tumblr.com

Hercules had the camera out, recording, he grinned wide, zooming in.

“Come on, come on, baby’s first steps!” he said excitedly. “I believe in you, baby.” 

Laurens responded by throwing the set of crutches at him, scowling. He looked to Lafayette as he nearly toppled over.. “At least stop your boyfriend from being mean, it’s not been that long-”

“You’ve been laying around for two weeks, it’s got to be nice getting up on your own and moving,” Hamilton said. “We’re excited, all of us, that you’re recovering. Aren’t you? I thought you’d like being mobile again.”

“My back aches and my arms hurt already,” Laurens said. “I’ve got physio tomorrow, they say I’m going to have a rough time getting back to normal after this. I told them that as long as I can have sex I’ll be okay. The doctor nearly choked and asked five hundred questions about my sex life..”

Lafayette laughed. 

“Hercules, quit filming him, please? He doesn’t like it, no more embarrassing our chubby petit. It’s been at least three weeks, closer to four.” 

Laurens finally got into a seat, mostly held up by Alexander. Hamilton curled up next to him, and Lafayette kissed his cheek before retrieving the crutches. When he came back, he supplied a kiss for everyone, even Hamilton. Alexander blushed, stuttered out a thing about permission, but didn’t throw a fit. Lafayette plopped himself back next to Hercules. 

“You know this means we’ll be going back to our place soon,” Laurens explained, the mood shifting. 

Hamilton nodded and took John’s hand. Lafayette looked between them all. He got it. The two of them needed their own space, to be closer to campus. He himself was starting to get angry at the commuting, it left him irritable having to change buses and lines so much heading into work or school. He disliked the idea of leaving Hercules or John for too long, however. They had been too important and fragile lately. Things were changing, they were healing. He nodded his head. 

“I was thinking the same, Thomas probably has let all my little plants die. I can’t have my apartment unsupervised,” he added. He looked to Hercules, who shrugged. “I love it here, but it’s too far away with my schedule this semester,” he admitted. 

“Maybe we can all take a couple days off every now and then, come out here and get all together.” he suggested. “Townhouse isn’t going to be the same without you.”

“There’s a little bit of me in the woodwork,” Laurens joked. “A little bit of everyone,” he added. 

Lafayette rolled his eyes, propping his feet onto Hercules. He rolled his eyes, wiping some of the dirt off of them. He mumbled something about being surrounded by heathens, causing Laurens to smile wide. 

“So… us heathens. We’re pretty good together, i know but it’s time to go on. I do miss a bed, the couch isn’t going to do forever, and if there’s a fire, I’ll make Hamilton piggyback me. Maybe Madison,” he commented. “You’re couch is too small for two adults interested in recreational pursuits.” 

“You two better not be ruining my couch,” Hercules said, narrowing his eyes.

“Regardless of recreational pursuits, their new place is really nice,” Lafayette said. “You should go visit it, I love going there between work and class now.”

“How many times have you slept in my bed?” Laurens asked. “Wait, how have you been getting in?”

“I sleep in Alexander’s, since he probably never did.”

“Excuse you,” Hamilton interjected.  “I sleep in it.”

“You lay down to put on your boots and fall asleep,” Laurens corrects him. “That’s what you really do. Lafayette, how have you been getting into my apartment?” he asked, confused. 

“I let myself in whenever I want with your keys,” Lafayette said, holding up his keys. “Madison is really nice, by the way. I think I’ll introduce Jefferson to him. Maybe even Burr.”

“You bastard. I’m not going on a date with you for two weeks, I’m calling a party foul. First for getting my keys, second for thinking Burr is good enough for him.”

“Laurens, you can’t even get to your apartment right now,” Mulligan said.”No need for the first party foul. Besides, he’s probably cleaned it and fixed it up.” 

“It’s true. I did your laundry. All of your laundry, plus the dishes, plus the dusting and vacuuming,” he commented as he kissed his cheeks. 

“I can now that I’m on crutches! I can take the metro again,” he said, eyes wide and happy.

“You shouldn’t, not alone anyway. With how late you work? We can afford you to take a cab or something for a few months,” Hamilton interjected. “I want you to not get hurt anymore, okay?” 

Lafayette rolled his eyes, cuddling with Hercules. Laurens softened up, rubbing his head against Hamilton’s shoulder. Lafayette decided to change the subject away from his friends.

“Hercules, you should get a kitten. Or a dog. I can’t at my place, and I really want one,” he admitted. “Get me a puppy?” 

“I’m not getting a dog for any of you. Plus, remember? We already have a puppy,” Hercules said, waggling his eyebrows.

Laurens laughed and Lafayette blushed. 

“What’s the joke?” Hamilton asked.

“You,” Hercules said. “I was on a date with Laf here, Laurens calls freaking out, and Lafayette assumed he found a puppy. You got a boyfriend because Lafayette thought you were a puppy.” 

Laurens smiled, and Alex melted as he looked at those freckles. While he didn’t particularly like the mix up, he was still happy.

“You’re a great dog, Hamilton,” Lafayette said. “You were even housebroken, unlike Laurens.” He patted John’s leg, and John sort of slid back.

“I was doing okay,” Laurens interjected. 

“You were worse than Hamilton. Too skinny, hardly able to take care of yourself, overworked and stressed…” Lafayette mused.

“Excuse me?” Hamilton asked, looking tense and angry. 

“I didn’t tell him,” Laurens mumbled as he sank down into the seat.

Hamilton looked between them, the mood changing. Lafayette mumbled an apology and Hercules looked between them. He relaxed, mainly because John was embarrassed. Mulligan sighed, and shrugged his shoulders. 

“Sorry man, we didn’t know he didn’t know.” 

“What don’t I know?” Hamilton asked.

“How much do you want to know right now?” Laurens asked. 

He was deflating, and Hamilton was unsure of what to do. He looked to the other two for help now.

“Mon petit, better to be out with it now. Just tell him all of it, okay?” Lafayette suggested. 

Laurens nodded as he tried to ignore the others in the room. He swallowed, glanced at Hamilton, then looked away. 

“Okay, okay, but I’m telling the short version of everything. Lafayette knows, maybe Mulligan? He knows because I was in a bad place when I first got here, so it’s why I first wanted to help out, same with Laf with me. My mom died when I was sixteen,” Laurens said, trying not to look at anyone but the floor. “Dad took off after that for a while, just me and my siblings. Then, when I came out as gay he decided to quit talking to me. It’d be a miracle if we spoke again. Anyway, Lafayette found me, I guess? I was trying to find a coat, it was too cold even though it was like, late spring semester. I didn’t know what to get. So, yeah.” he sighed as he crossed his arms. “Couple months later, I lose my apartment. Defaulted on rent,” he commented. 

“I always thought you burnt the place down,” Lafayette mused.

“It was easier to let you think that, less embarrassing,” Laurens said, shrugging. “I’m not into the whole woe is me, my dad hates me for being gay,” he told them. “Hate doesn’t do anything besides destroy, and I wasn’t about that.”

He still stayed slumped down, and Hamilton started kissing over him, trying to bring him back to the place where he was loved and wanted. Lafayette looked to Hercules, who let him go to help comfort Laurens. The three of them stayed that way for a while, ignoring shaking shoulders and little noises that slipped from Laurens. Laurens, who had been so strong and stable throughout most of his life. There were plenty of kisses and reassuring words between them as Laurens tried brushing them off, tried keeping himself together. 

Hercules realized then why Laurens had been so quick to forgive them all. He got up, went over, and hugged him tight. Laurens let out a little squeak as Mulligan bear hugged him. He held onto him as they rocked. Laurens relaxed into him as they all hugged him until Laurens was hiccuping and complaining that the pain was getting to be too much. Hamilton went off to get some pain medicine and Lafayette propped him up on the couch. Laurens let out a little sigh, and Mulligan ran a hand through his curls. He looked exhausted as he lay there. The three of them remembered how bright eyed he had been still, sick most of the time. He had deteriorated within a few weeks and Lafayette had called, begging Mulligan to come over and help lift him up. He had been so young, and now, only half a year later, he seemed immeasurably older and more serious. A revolution had taken over him. He sighed as he curled up a little. Lafayette straightened him back out and Laurens grumbled only a little.. Hamilton came back in, and sat next to him. Laurens smiled up at him. Hamilton got under his curls and started playing with them. They got the pills into him, and Laurens let out a little noise of relief as they started working. His body eased by slow degrees till he was half asleep on the couch. He turned his head into his stomach, kissing it.

Laurens was not a man who would relent under pressure. He was staunch in character, and so easy to wound. He was here now, loved and wanted. That was what was truly important to him. He had suffered so much thinking that Lafayette would no longer want him. That another human being had grown tired and thought he wasn’t worth helping. Hercules kissed his hands and cheeks before retreating back to his own seat. Laurens blinked in surprise, but Lafayette laughed. He kissed him, then kissed Hamilton on the forehead before going to sit on Hercules’s lap. Hamilton finally settled down, content. The four of them didn’t speak for a few moments, looking at nothing and seeing everything. Laurens was getting lost in the sound of hearing them breathing. 

“We’re okay?” Laurens asked, already slipping a little from the pain medicine to sleep.

“We’re okay. We’re all okay. We’re in love,” Alexander said. 

“We’re okay,” Laurens echoed.

“We’re more than okay. We’re together,” Lafayette corrected them.

He took his hand, and Laurens kissed it. Laurens smiled, turning to Lafayette. Lafayette lit up, and turned to Hercules, all blush and trying to look smooth.  Hercules hesitated for a second, and Lafayette nudged him. He broke into a grin. The four of them were content, and that was all that matters. 

It takes four people so understanding and devoted. It takes them bound together by something. An orphan from the Caribbean, a kid unwanted from the South, an Immigrant from France, and a man who grew up alone to be somehow stitched together into something pure and whole, and for the first time, there was something secure and beautiful. 

There was family. 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow okay so I posted this fic a week ago for the first time, and it already has more hits than my longest running series? So thank you! I'm sort of overwhelmed about this, but really excited, so really, I'm really grateful! I'd love to hear from you guys over on twopintsjohnlaurens.tumblr.com or even on here, the comments and hits and kudos are giving me life.


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